Studying for Linear Algebra Test

Ok, ladies and gents. So I am completely unmotivated right now. I am currently studying for my linear algebra test. Kind of bored doing it though, no I am bored. Hmmm.... I need something exhilarating to happen to me. Yea...I think I'm go skydiving in a couple of weeks. But what should I do in the mean time? Hmmmm.... studying Japanese and re-watching Death Note is keeping soul connected to this body, but that will only last for so long. I need something to help sew up the roots. Well....I think there is a shooting range near my university. Maybe I can go shoot at some paper targets. Man....I need some ideas. I still got at least two months in this pathetic school. Anyway, just another day in the life of ...me (sigh) .

Ok, Ladies and Gents. It's been almost a month now since the last post. Has there been a significant change in my life since then, hmmmmm? Yes, I guess. Since my education is the most important thing to me right now, I will start with everything related to it. So I have applied to eight internship thus far, and I will still apply to more for this summer I have been procrastinating a lot this past month, but I will explain why later. Other than internships, I have a research job on my campus, but I have not been doing much in it. I was given a seventy-five page paper to read, and I did, about a video they are trying to develop enlightening gamers of the history of George Latimer and his son. George Latimer was a slave who escaped to freedom when he reached to Boston, I think. So far the only thing I assisted on was making the game appealing to the modern day gamer, but I want to do more than that. I want to learn how to do something, but I have not got any word yet, and I do not want to nag them. The next thing is my Japanese class....smh...sigh. Remember in my last post I said the young African Americans are not pushing themselves to the limit, but actually below average is fine with them? Well, IT IS GETTING ON MY F'N NERVES!!!! Let me tell how slow my class is at Norfolk State University by using lessons in the Japanese learning textbook for comparison. The textbook has twelve lessons in total. In Japan, my sensei (teacher) went from lesson one to lesson five for Japanese 101. I come back to NSU and take Japanese 101-2, the second level, and the second level starts at Lesson 4!! I asked the teacher "why are you going so slow?" She responds "well, the students here are not as motivated as students elsewhere. I have to make sure that they pass." WTF!!! Not only that, but I found out she also teaches at another university not far from my school and in their Japanese 101, she teaches from Lesson 1 - Lesson 6!!!! Oh My F'n Goodness. The classes I attend at the school in Japan were all challenging, so do you know how depressed I was when I heard that shit. The only thing that kept me alive was this girl I liked in Japan that I knew was coming to America to study. I thought I could build a relationship with her since we "dated" (<----it complicated), however, she shut me down about three weeks ago, and that "tipped the glass over." I was so depressed that I felt I could not move for half a day. I wanted to cry because I feel I am not getting the education I want, I felt lonely, I feel utterly unsatisfied. What do you do if you have a full scholarship, but your parents do not have money for you to transfer to better university? What do you do when you are lonely and not interested in any woman....on your campus...in your home state....not even in America? What do you do when you are so unsatisfied that you are far past the point where you begin to think "what is the point of life?" I am not the type of person to commit suicide if anyone is thinking that. Dying is too easy, and it is not a challenge at all and you know how much I love a challenge. Remember, it is always harder to live than to not. Sigh. Well, just another day in the life of me (no smiley face this time).